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| I'm so strange, but this is the type of stuff I think about.
Tension. A lot of people say that they know what it is. They almost always will use the phrase, "and you could cut the tension in the air with a knife." It's something you could never really understand unless you've been contributing to that tension or just watching a situation unfold before you...not on tv. Not really. My personal belief is that tension is the accumulation of emotions that eventually build up into a peak in which you know exactly what will happen next because you know what that other person is thinking. Tension creates a brief melding of minds.
Think about it. Have you ever truly been in a situation like that? Think back to any situation filled with tension: a kiss, a fight, etc. There really isn't any, "it came out of nowhere." For a second, you knew what the other person was going to do. For a fraction of a second, you understood that something had happened that pushed that line. Afterwards, you may have chosen to forget that moment or you just didn't realize that it was there. But for that moment, you were linked and drawn in to the situation and completely absorbed in the moment.
And that's what I thought about before serving you your fricking double shot tall soy half caff foamy latte. | | |
| Well, all my colleges have come in.
Accepted: Elmira (NY), St. Mary's (CA), Colby-Sawyer (NH), Hobart and William Smith (NY), and Scripps (CA).
Waitlisted: Smith (MA) and Wheaton (MA).
Rejected: Claremont McKenna (CA), Colby (ME), Bowdoin (ME), Amherst (MA).
I was upset about Amherst, but other than that, I'm really pleased. Scripps was my number two choice and I got in! Folks, I'm currently something I call PDS (pretty damn sure) I'm going there. I'm staying in California for sure. The only remaining thing is the money issue...St. Mary's is offering me money to go and Scripps is offering an interest free loan.
Probabilities: Scripps (75%) and St. Mary's (15%)...Elmira's offering me more money than St. Mary's so they get a 10% chance.
Quite frankly, I can't wait to go. I think I'm going to love college. | | |
| I am so tired of fighting my gazillions of emotions that all seem to come at once.
It isn't that I don't like to think and ponder on the past, present, and future. It's more than I shouldn't try and do it when I'm hormonal and crazy stressed.
Number of Colleges Applied To: 12
Number of Colleges Heard From: 0
I'm hearing from most of them by the first week of April about whether: a) I'm accepted or rejected. and b) How much financial aid I'm recieving...aka, can I afford to go to this college and still be able to go to med school without large amounts of debt. I should hopefully hear from 3 colleges sometime within the next two weeks...at least that's what their email said.
I think they should all just accept me. Go ahead, I dare you! Accept me! Just kidding...I'm sort of dreading/excited about my Amherst letter...it basically determines whether I go to the far East or not. If I don't get in, I'll most likely stay in CA. I'm kind of sad/happy about whether I do get in. If I get in, I get into my first choice. But I'd have to go and live in MA, which I've just realized is very very far away from here. I probably won't get in though, so techincally I shouldn't even worry about it. And yet, I do.
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| Should I start trying? Is it really hopeless? I guess after 3.5 months nothing has changed. Forgiveness really isn't something that you can force upon someone, particularly if they could care less if you died.
Oh well.
I guess I just need to make my peace with everything. | | |
| This summer has sucked. Majorly. I'm so sick of my problems right now, but I still have to deal with them. I would love to turn and run and just turn off my phone right now, but people still need me. That should make me feel good. Should, but my mood is so crappy that even knowing that I'm still wanted to listen doesn't work.
I'm glad my CSM classes end next week. I'm pretty confident about Microbiology, but not about Econ. I'm going to retake my permit test on Friday and start driving this summer. I let my permit expire, but apparently as long as I have both my old permit and new permit, I don't have to wait 6 months to take my driving test. Hopefully, I'll get my license before my birthday.
I can't believe school's starting on the 16th. Senior year, and I know I'm going to be stressed beyond belief. Ick. I need to go to a show before school gets back into session. Music's something that always helps. Well, almost always. I guess going to a show has different people and it has loud music so you tend to forget and just hang out and most of the time, have a good time. | | |
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